Bananas in Church

Since arriving in the Philippines, we've desired to attend a church that has a good mix of English and Tagalog. We felt that this would help us to learn some of the language. The problem, though, is that the large churches conduct their whole service in English and the small churches begin in Tagalog, see the two white faces in the crowd (us), and then continue in English. It's a nice gesture, but it doesn't help us learn the language!

So today, we visited a mid-sized church. We understood it was a Tagalog speaking service, so we were interested in just blending into the background and soaking in what we could. The music was upbeat and entirely in Tagalog. They even had a projector for the lyrics, which enabled us to read the words and hear the words at the same time. I was able to piece together a few phrases, and we both really enjoyed it.

Then we sat down for the sermon. A visiting Filipino minister was introduced. He scanned the crowd of 500 people, and his eyes rested on us.

"I see we have some Amerikano visitors with us! How much Tagalog do you know?"

Feeling just a tad uncomfortable, we quickly answered in unison "Konti lang!" ("Only a little!")

"Why don't you come down to the front and sit with my family, and they will translate my sermon for you!"

Feeling just a little more uncomfortable, we gathered our stuff and the whole crowd watched the two Amerikanos make their way to the front. As we turned at the stage, he asked what our names were and where we were from. When he said, "Pensacola, Florida? I used to live there!", my uneasiness turned to shock.

I was so shocked that I blurted, "Really? What part?" Of course, the crowd thought that this was pretty funny, because some white guy was about to carry on some howyadoin? conversation with the visiting minister while he stood on the stage with the microphone. I never did hear his response, but I got the hint from the crowd and followed Ellen to our designated seats.

He began his sermon, "Everybody here knows English, right? Let's just do this sermon in English!"

Ugg--so far, we weren't going to hear any Tagalog, and we definently weren't blending in. It actually wasn't that bad though...he gave a great testimony of how he had been a missionary to Saudi Arabia, and had been imprisoned for starting churches there. Now he travels the world, telling his story to people all over the planet.

I guess since we had become such good buddies during those few awkward moments in front of the stage, he decided to give me (note: ME, not Ellen) an Tagalog lesson about mid-way through the sermon. He was talking about how the bananas in heaven will taste better than the all of the bananas in the Philippines. So, he calls me up so that I can recite with him all of the varieties of bananas. Another big laugh for the audience. It was especially hilarious when he started giving me names of foods that had nothing to do with bananas, trying to convince me that they really were bananas.

So, I got my Tagalog lesson after all. All I remember is that there is a variety of banana called "Seniorita", but that's how you learn it, one word at a time.